


Its Hard

by Space_girl19



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Simon, Self-Hatred, Simon Lewis Loves Raphael Santiago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 10:39:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14768025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_girl19/pseuds/Space_girl19
Summary: Dying is easy. Living is harder.





	Its Hard

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning, spoilers for episode ten are gonna be prominent.
> 
> And you may need tissues.

_“You get away from her, don't touch her. Hurt her again and it will be the last thing you ever do I swear to God.”_

 

Screaming, Simon fell to the ground blood falling from his eyes as he pounded the dirt beneath him. Ripping at his hair he howled into the night.

 

_“Stay away. Stay away from this family. I swear to god I will kill you.”_

 

Simon fell forwards onto his hands the words “I'm a monster” consistently whispered to the crisp night air. Blood welled from brown orbs once filled with so much rapture and joy it burned anyone is touched. All the light in those eyes gone with his mother's memory of him.

 

_“You are not my son. Get out. GET OUT”_

 

Simon thought he could hear voices. All of them screeching to end this. End the disgust. End the suffering. End his past.

 

_“Your son died in an accident. His lasts thoughts were of his love for you.”_

 

Everything was so dark, so very dark. The voices once so loud abruptly silenced by shock.

 

_“Love.”_

 

Simon laughed maniacally into the void surrounding him. Him! Feel love! He did not deserve something as treasured as true, pure, blinding love from another soul. He was a beast. One hated even among others like himself. A blood-drainer. An animal who almost killed his sister.

 

Oh and his sister. She spoke of acceptance. Another cackle into the dark space he had created for himself. Give it a week and she would detest him. Fear him. Loathe him. She, among so many others would watch in disgust while he fed. While he trained. While he slept.

 

Unexpectedly Simon felt himself being pulled backwards. Thrashing madly he howled and fought against the strong hold keeping him still. Soft words were murmured into his ear but he didn't hear them. Sobbing into the night he he gave in.

 

Sagging into the others hold he Iclutched weakly at the expensive fabric adorning his saviors body. He was no longer wailing but as the other males language flowed into spanish he felt as thought he was numb.

 

Words meant nothing even when spoken by the one he held on a pedestal. Not even when they came from the man you loved.

 

Simon was in agony and for once it wasn't okay. Raphael knew that. Only Raphael knew what this felt like. Burning. Burning into dust and ashes with a scream still stuck on the tip of your tongue.

 

Simon felt nothing. But for awhile that was okay. He wouldn't feed out of his own free will for weeks, wouldn't speak for months, wouldn't smile for a year and laugh only after a year and a day.

 

Dying is easy. Living, is harder.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Should be finishing a multi chapter fic but episode ten brought so many feels! I felt the need to write this.


End file.
